Resources

The list below directs you to resources which have helped us cope, cry, and find hope again. We find that each person finds their own unique way through this tremendous loss. All of us know the heartache of coming home without our babies. Journaling has helped many of us put into words what we cannot speak aloud. Reading has helped many of us connect with others who have faced the unfathomable weight of grief. We hope the resources below guide you through your grief or in supporting your beloved family member.

For Bereaved Parents

  • It's Okay That You're Not Okay: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand ~ Megan Divine

    Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death ~ Sherokee Ilse

    Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby ~ Deborah L. Davis

    It’s Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too), A Memoir ~ Nora McInerny

    Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy ~ Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

    I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy ~ Angie Smith

    Strong and Tender: A Guide for the Father Whose Baby Has Died ~ Pat Schwiebert

    A Time to Decide, A Time to Heal: For Parents Making Difficult Decisions about Babies They Love ~ Minnick, Delp & Ciotti

    Our Heartbreaking Choices: Forty-Six Women Share Their Stories of Interrupting a Much-Wanted Pregnancy ~ Christie Brooks

    Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child after Pregnancy Loss ~ Sarah Philpott

    Pregnancy After Loss: A Day-By-Day Plan to Reassure and Comfort You ~ Zoe Clark Coates

    My Baby Big Sister: A Book for Children Born Subsequent to a Pregnancy Loss ~ Cathy Blanford

    We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had An Angel Instead ~ Pat Schwiebert

  • 3 Hopeful Hearts (Fort Collins) ~ 3hopefulhearts.com Provides grief-informed support to empower and equip those impacted by the death of a baby or child of any age, while increasing grief literacy in our larger community.

    Angel Eyes ~ angeleyes.org Helps families cope with the sudden, unexpected death of an infant or toddler, and miscarriage and stillbirth loss. Offers professional bereavement counseling, a support group, peer connections, and community referrals to those who are grieving.

    Walk With Me ~ walkwithme-nonprofit.orgProvides practical, financial and emotional support to grieving families and helps them break through barriers that stand in the way of hope.

  • Terrible, Thank You For Asking

    Stillbirth Matters

    It’s OK that You’re Not OK

    Time to Talk TFMR

    Dad Still Standing

    Still Parents

  • NILMDTS ~ nowilaymedowntosleep.org Provides the gift of remembrance photography for parents suffering the loss of a baby

    Walk With Me- walkwithme-nonprofit.org Provides practical, financial and emotional support to gireving families prior to or shortly after birth: in the hospital and in the difficult weeks ahead.

  • nationalshare.org ~ Extensive resources for parents and grandparents whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby.

    glowinthewoods.com ~ Educational and support resources for parents of lost babies.

    stillstandingmag.com~ For all those who are grieving child loss and infertility. A dynamic collection of articles and resources written by bereaved mothers and fathers.

    centering.org ~ Provides education and resources for the bereaved; over 500 grief resources for children and adults.

    missfoundation.org ~ Shares counseling and resources for those grieving the death or impending death of a child.

    thecomfortcompany.com ~ An online store supplying unique sympathy gifts and memorial items for baby loss.

    griefwatch.com ~ Offers spiritual and emotional resources for the bereaved parent.

  • Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support ~ nationalshare.org Serves those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.

    Star Legacy Foundation ~ starlegacyfoundtion.org Provides live, interactive, online support groups for families who have experienced a perinatal loss and for individuals experiencing a pregnancy after a loss.

    Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS) ~ pregnancyafterlossupport.org Knows that a mom pregnant after a loss no longer quite fits into the loss groups anymore, but also doesn’t feel they fit into the “normal pregnancy community.” PALS helps fill that gap with online support groups.

    Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR) ~tfmrmamas.com Provides support groups for parents who have to say goodbye early to their desperately wanted babies due to medical/maternal health reasons.

“Let us not be people who flee from pain, but rather, people so filled with love that we run towards those who are hurting with hearts and arms wide open.”

— Unknown

For Family & Friends

  • Thank you for being here for your loved one. The best thing you can do right now is show up and be there to listen and love your family member. Here’s a great article to further support you.

  • 1. Ask- What can I do to support you? Ask your friend if they want to talk about their baby, their feelings, or their daily experience. Identify a tangible need. I’m going to the store, what can I bring you? Can I mow your lawn? Can I drive carpool for your other kids? Be specific in your questions. Even the simplest of offerings can be so helpful and they allow you to contribute in a helpful way.

    2. Listen- When your friend speaks, truly listen. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and trust to share about this experience. Give your friend your undivided attention. Keep your phone in your purse, don’t check the time. Be present and emotionally available.

    3. Keep showing up– You may not hear from your friend for a while, grief is all-encompassing and may appear as selfish. Texts may go unreturned, phone calls sent to voicemail, do not take this personal. This is not about you or a reflection of the importance of your relationship. A lot gets set aside while grieving, friendships included. Keep showing up.

    4. Honor the important days– Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays highlight the loved ones that are missing. Honor the important days by acknowledging the emptiness. Your gesture doesn’t need to be grand (although those are appreciated, too) but even a simple acknowledgment is greatly appreciated.

    5. Acknowledge the regular days– As the world moves on from the initial shock of loss, bereaved parents face this reality even more so as time moves forward. Grieving parents are constantly reminded of their pain and loss, you won’t be reminding them by checking in. Instead, you’ll be demonstrating that you remember alongside them. Even though the important days are crucial to acknowledge, the regular days are too.

    6. Speak baby’s name– Speak it, write it, text it, include it. Keep your friend’s baby’s memory alive. They’re always thinking of their baby, let them know that you are, too.

    7. Follow your friend’s lead– Many times if you allow your friend to take the lead, you’ll be able to fall in step with what they need.

    The worst thing you can do is nothing. The silence without a baby at home is deafening, help to fill that empty airspace. Call, text, send cards, bring a meal, and keep showing up. Even if they can’t articulate it, your friend will always remember your support.

    From: 7 Ways to Support a Friend by Amie Lands

  • As a grandparent, family member or beloved friend we know that your grief is present, too.